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What is dirt candy? Vegetables, of course. When you eat a vegetable you’re eating little more than dirt that’s been transformed by plenty of sunshine and rain into something that’s full of flavor: Dirt Candy. It’s also the name of my restaurant, which opened in October, 2008.

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The Touriga Nacional is Portugal’s most famous grape. Normally used to make port, Churchill’s Touriga Nacional Douro is one of the rare instances in which it’s used to make wine, and the result is a really intense red that’s so dark it’s violet. Wine Spectator called it one of the “Top Wines of 2009″ and wrote, “The finish of chocolate mousse and café au lait is long and mouth-filling.”

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We looked long and hard to find a wine to replace our beloved Pinotage and this is the only one we felt was worthy of filling its shoes.

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Last Saturday’s family meal is a picture so gross I worried about publishing it. Jesus made it for Danielle (she doesn’t eat wheat) but she didn’t have time to eat it, Jesus thought it looked too gross to eat and Kristen just had a bite. Antonio didn’t eat it, either. I think I wound up eating most of it by myself.

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It’s gluten free pasta, corn and broccolini stem sauce.

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Friday’s family meal is a study in brown: chickpeas and tofu with brown rice.

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The fifth and final installment in a long (looooong) series of posts about how Dirt Candy came to be built. The story that took a year to tell. Thrills! Chills! Evil plumbers! Mentally ill contractors! Shakedown artists! Ransom demands! If you’re thinking of opening a restaurant, then read these entries and avoid my mistakes. Plus, there is entertainment to be had in reading about bad things happening to people, so long as you’re not the person in question. So I offer my bad things to brighten up your day.

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(Read Part One, here’s Part Two, here’s Part Three and here’s Part Four)

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In October, everyone turned evil. Maybe it was because of Halloween, maybe it was because as you get towards the end of any project you finally have to handle all the irritating details you’ve put off handling, maybe it’s because I’ve been cursed by an invisible witch for crimes I can barely remember, doomed to pay penance in this life for violating some obscure taboo in another. But as Dirt Candy entered the crunch Moto and Jerry both went from being normal guys, to being bad contractors and then joined Anthony as downright crooks. To recap: we were in October, there was no gas, we’d blown past three opening dates without a sign of slowing down, staff was hired, they were starting to ask questions I couldn’t answer like, “When do we open?” and my dwindling cash reserves were dwindling like they were competing in the Dwindle Olympics.

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What things looked like on October 14 (from the

back of the restaurant).

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Dirt Candy was just on ABC’s Chef’s Table. I’m making the parsnip gnocchi and if I look uneasy it’s because I stupidly scheduled this interview right before we went into service one night. My entire staff is sitting on the other side of that camera, staring at me, all desperate to get back in the kitchen and get ready to open. That’s the last time I make this mistake….oh, who am I kidding. I’ve never made a mistake I haven’t then gone on to make at least two more times.

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Watch Dirt Candy on Chef’s Table here.

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Salad, tofu and veggies and…sigh…eggs. Also, rice and bread.

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I wish this was more exciting for you all. I really, really do.

Even I’ll admit, this one’s a little sad.

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Coleslaw, mashed potatoes and freshly squeezed orange soda.

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Grits! Tofu! Salad!

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Yes.

Albarino is the maladjusted, troubled teenager of Spanish wines. Growing mostly in Portugal and Galicia (in the northwest) it’s a grape that loves the cold and being blasted by wind and rain (so moody!). Albarino was developed in isolation, away from all the other wines and their stupid judgments, and it’s mostly harvested by hand (making it very difficult, like a troubled teen, and also more expensive, also like a troubled teen) and it’s often mixed up in the cocaine trade (very troubled) since Galicia, where it’s grown, was one of the leading cocaine smuggling hubs for all of Europe until recently. Fun fact: Condes de Albarei winery is located on property that was seized from a coke dealer and they dedicate 5% of their land to a drug rehab program.

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Less coke-fueled, but just as delicious, is the Abacela Albarino we started serving recently, a rare North American Albarino, grown in Oregon at the Abacela winery.

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This is Saturday’s family meal – I forgot to post it earlier. Gnocchi and root vegetables (in the big pan), then for Danielle (daytime prep) it’s tofu and root vegetables (in the smaller pan). Also, a salad of broccolini stems and mushrooms.

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