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(Update: as of Tuesday, November 6, Dirt Candy has re-opened! Seriously. We’re open. You can eat here! People have been confused, so be confused no longer!)

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I’m in the middle of re-opening Dirt Candy and so far the biggest problem (besides having to remake everything from scratch, all at once) is that my internet service is out. Verizon told me, “We don’t know why it’s out, we don’t know when it will be back, and it may never be back.” As you might imagine, these are not the words I wanted to hear. The biggest thing I need internet access for are Open Table reservations. To their credit, Open Table is being really great about this (a huge improvement over my last interaction with them) but for now, if you want a reservation (or need to cancel a reservation, or change a reservation) please call the restaurant (212-228-7732). I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, but just imagine: it’s only a single phone call for you, but I’ll be answering the phone all day long.

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Then there’s storage. Dirt Candy has off-site storage over on Avenue D, right in the middle of the flood zone. My storage unit: in the basement. This is what it looks like.

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My husband was over there yesterday and today digging it out, and what really sucks is that insurance doesn’t cover this loss. The policy I had through the storage place doesn’t cover water damage, and the coverage I have through my home owner’s policy doesn’t cover this particular location for flooding (because it’s in a flood plain). This was all news to me!

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Want to buy a Dirt Candy Cookbook: Special Superstorm Sandy Edition?

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The store is still open, and we’re still selling stuff, but we have no more men’s t-shirts (unless you’d like to buy a wet, mildewy one saturated in heating oil and raw sewage) and I won’t be able to ship any book orders until this weekend. I’ll keep you posted on developments.

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Tired of bringing home plastic bags? They’re noisy, they’re unattractive, and when you throw them away they collect by the side of highways until they form giant, marauding Plastic Bag Monsters that eat seagulls. Dirt Candy has a solution for you! The Dirt Candy Tote Bag!

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Made of 100% recycled cotton, the Dirt Candy tote bag will eliminate plastic bags from your life. As we all know, plastic bags from the supermarket clutter up your cabinets, drink all your beer and slip into your bedroom at night and try to suffocate you. Plastic bags are the problem! The Dirt Candy tote bag is the solution!

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Infinitely reusable, unreasonably attractive, and unabashedly awesome, it’s the recycled cotton tote bag that tells everyone else at the store that you are the captain of your own ship, you are the master of your own soul, you will use whatever bag you want to use and not their dumb old plastic bags! Sturdy, reliable, and extremely trustworthy (they know how to keep your secrets), the Dirt Candy tote bag is the perfect solution for people who’ve decided that they’re sick and tired of being menaced by unsightly plastic bags.

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For now, there’s free shipping in the US of A! That deal won’t last forever, so get your tote bags while you can! Buy one now!

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100% cotton, 1000% awesome, the Dirt Candy t-shirt is the best solution to upper-body nudity ever devised by modern science. And we sell them for men…and for women!

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Designed by long-time customer, Chris Andrews, and based on ancient weaving patterns devised by the lost peoples of upper Mesopotamia, the Dirt Candy t-shirt protects you from the elements while remaining absolutely stunning. Impress your shirtless friends with your good taste and common sense. Put one on, sit back, and just wait for the compliments to start rolling in.

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Women’s t-shirts are available in black and white, but men’s t-shirts are available in black only.

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Order one! Order two! Order fifty! Order them for women! Order them for men! This is the last t-shirt you’ll ever need. And for a limited time only, there’s FREE SHIPPING in the US of A!

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A long time in the making, the Dirt Candy Store is now open! From the comfort of your own home you can order Hush Puppies and Maple Butter that will come oozing through your phone lines! Have a hot webcam chat with a plate of Cauliflower and Waffles! Download the latest hit single from Crispy Tofu for only .99 cents!

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Actually, no. But you can order a recycled cotton tote bag to take to the grocery store with you. Buy one of the awesome t-shirts designed by Chris Andrews which science has shown are THE best solution to upper-body nudity! Buy gift certificates and toss them around like candy at a Shriner’s parade so you can become the most popular person in your office! And get a signed copy of the Dirt Candy Cookbook for $1 cheaper than retail price!

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You can find the store at the link at the top of the page, or just go here. We’ll be filling every single order with our own tiny hands so if you have a problem, feel free to drop us a line at the info email address. And if you have any feedback, see something that seems to be working oddly, or want to tell us any other items you’d like to see, please let us know.

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Happy shopping!
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And if you’re bad, we’ll send you to Granny Wobbly’s Fudge Pantry.
Trust us. You don’t want to go there.

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