I was reading an article about a big famous chef recently, someone whose restaurants I’ve eaten at and enjoyed, and at one point he begins to talk about his amazing palate and how only he understands the “true” taste of food. His attitude throughout was, “My food is perfect, and if you don’t like it then you do not understand the ways of a great chef such as myself.”

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“You can tell we are Great Chefs

by our silly hats.“

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This kind of thing always gets up my nose. You cook food according to your taste – that’s it. There is no “true” taste of food, no “One True Path” of cooking, no Platonic ideal of the way a Great Dish should taste. The problem with this attitude – I’m a Great Chef, taste me and learn – is that it turns food into an argument where there’s a right answer and a wrong answer and frankly I got enough of that in school. If someone is deemed a Great Chef you’re wrong if you don’t like their food. Your taste isn’t up to par. You don’t understand what you’re eating. Your palate is uneducated. You suck.

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“Oh, God…why didn’t I understand

that the cream was supposed to

be curdled….”

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I cook what I like at Dirt Candy. Some people love it, some people like it, and some people hate it. It just doesn’t speak to them – and that’s okay. Every restaurant isn’t going to work for every diner but that doesn’t mean that either the diner or the restaurant is wrong, they’re just not a match. I ate at a restaurant I’ll call Restaurant X recently, a fancy high end Manhattan food palace, and while it was as perfect as a high end Manhattan restaurant can be it left me cold. If this was the internet (oh wait – it is) then either “Overrated Restaurant X sux and should die!” or “I have no taste buds and I’m overrated and should die!” The reality is that Restaurant X is just not offering the kind of food I’m interested in right now. I’m a bit burnt out on high end, white tablecloth Manhattan dining these days, and it took a visit to Restaurant X to make me realize that this kind of food, even executed perfectly, wasn’t what gets my blood pumping right now.

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Obviously the kind of food that gets

my blood pumping.

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By the same token, Dirt Candy isn’t for everyone, and I feel like that doesn’t make me wrong but, more importantly, it doesn’t make the diner wrong, either. If every restaurant had to appeal to every eater then we’d all be Greek diners with endless menus running from grilled cheese to seafood, or we’d be those sushi delivery places that also do Chinese food and tempura and some tacos. I think sometimes customers feel like they’re being held hostage to a restaurant’s reputation and reviews, forced to pretend love for food they don’t like. Or they admit they don’t like it but worry that they’re going to look uneducated or like they don’t “get it.” What you wind up with are a bunch of frustrated, simmering customers who feel trapped and aggravated by their meals and they go from restaurant to restaurant feeling worse and worse about themselves until finally they explode. And no one wants a customer to explode.

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Mr. Creosote will explode no matter

what you do, however.

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So relax, and enjoy what you eat, and if you don’t like it then remember that not every restaurant is going to be for you and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you don’t “get it” or the restaurant has somehow pulled a fast one on other people, tricking them into liking it when it clearly bites the big one, it just means that you haven’t made a Love Connection. This is food, one of the most personal and intimate things on the planet, and everyone’s tastes are so different that it’s a miracle there’s ever a match made at all between a restaurant and a customer.

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But I do have one thing to say: if you’ve got a problem with your meal, say something to me. I’m here all the time. If Dirt Candy is open, I’m here. If you didn’t like your meal, if you have comments or criticism, I’m probably the one who brought your food to the table so let me know. Maybe it’s something you don’t understand about the food, or maybe it’s something I want to change, or maybe we’ll just agree to disagree. Maybe my food’s just not for you, and that’s fair. But before you storm off and post something online, say it to me directly. If you don’t want to say something during your meal, then email me or call the restaurant. I read all the emails, and I’m usually the person who answers the phone. Go ahead and post, too, but it seems weird and impersonal to have a problem with your meal and never say anything directly to the person who made it. I want to know what you think about our food, and if you went through the trouble to come here and eat I assume you want to give me a chance to try to make Dirt Candy better. And it’s only going to happen if you talk to me.

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I ask this because I’m a human being who works hard to make good food, and I want you to enjoy your meal. So if you don’t enjoy it, let’s talk. I promise: I’m not going to bite you.

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